like July. July is sneaking up on me! the past year has felt like a literal WHIRLWIND, and it doesn't seem like it's going to slow down any time soon. think about it, just since January last year I've moved states, gotten a job, found a boyfriend who quickly became a fiance, got ourselves a cat, started the process of looking for our own place - which we're hoping to have by the end of March! - and we're going to get married in July, just a year after we met. HOLY COW. I feel like I'm living in fast forward. and now it's actually 2012, getting closer to July every day - it's almost March right now - and it hits me, this is about to be REAL. I'm going to be married. we'll have our own place. and not years from now, THIS YEAR. in four months. I've been sitting here comfortably thinking of this as a thing in the future, and then it snuck up and now it is here. agh!
well, it's been, is, and will continue to be a pretty crazy ride, at least for the foreseeable future. but I think it's all going to turn out well. I'm excited, anyway. a little nervous... well, okay, a lot nervous, but I know it's going to be worth it in the end. this isn't ever where I would have seen myself being this time two years ago. but I think it's better. for the most part, I'm happy. there are some aspects of my life that could use some improvement, but there's very little I could actually point at and say, 'that right there, that's what's making me unhappy.' that's a pretty good place to be, I think. I have a lot to be thankful for. not the least of which IS my wonderful fiance, who, yes, will be my wonderful husband a lot sooner than it feels like!
I at least have a pretty cool dress, which I need to tweak the fit of just a bit but that I think will look good on me. well, I mean. it does look good on me. I did try it on :P but I think it will look particularly good once I get the proper undergarments and modify the fit a little. I need to get some shoes to wear with it, and figure out what I want to do with my ungodly hair, and ooh! I need wedding jewelry! mostly just earrings, I don't wear much in the way of other jewelry anymore. but this is a wonderful excuse to finally go pore over all the lovely shinies at Bodyartforms again :P
we're just going to have a small private ceremony, but we want to have a big party afterwards for all our family and friends, and we totally haven't started planning that at all except that Jacob is insisting we have dancing, and that we do have to have a first dance. ACK. I am not a dancer... but okay. also, I'm really excited about the registry I've been building. I have plenty of stuff for a house, since I've obviously lived in an apartment before, but I'd love to have some NICE stuff, and it's fun going through and picking out stuff to put on a list :P even if we just get a few things, I'll be excited!
at any rate... I have been feeling kind of down and ugh lately, but I think I might be managing to pull myself back up out of it now. and at least I've managed to be consistently excited about things like moving into our own place and getting married. if I really couldn't be excited about anything, then I'd be worried. I've even started knitting again. that's a nice improvement, and a good measure of me feeling better, it seems like. I don't even have to feel guilty about the yarn I'm using since I finally spent that Hobby Lobby gift card my sister got me for my birthday! and I've been forcing myself out of the house more often, even just to run down to Kroger to buy little things I need instead of waiting around until Jacob and I can go together. I like getting out of the house, really, so that usually makes me happier anyway. I should start going down to the coffeehouse to read and stuff. when it gets warmer I'm totally going to go walk around Bridge Street more often again. I always enjoy that.
now, to wait for Jacob to finally get home! we're going out to eat with his mom tonight... so this should be fun :P
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