I wish so much that it was viable to just run away. get in my car, drive somewhere, just be THERE for a while and not here. I am so sick of being here. everything I do is wrong or futile or frivolous to the point I feel guilty doing it, everyone is either hostile or condescending or is accidentally getting taken advantage of by me, and I feel so stuck. more little things keep popping up as well. ugh, so irritating.

I really can't deal with the thought of going to work tomorrow. I can't deal with doing much of anything right now because the times when my brain decides to involuntarily incapacitate me always seem to coincide with the times I have tons of important crap to do. I kinda hate life right now. so it's really not so surprising that I want to just run away... starting over always sounds so nice, but irony of ironies, you need money for that too...